To look is one thing
To see what you look at is another
To understand what you see is a third
To learn from what you understand is still something else
But to act on what you learn - that really matters.
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Its how you are after you’ve succeeded that really counts whether you have
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My grandfather was a very determined and stubborn man. Once
he set his mind on something, nothing could change it and no matter how tough
it was, he would still attempt to complete it. Although declared bankrupt
twice, he still strived hard to set up his own company, selling everything from
stationary to computers. Once he successfully set up his company, he would sell
it off to anyone who wanted to buy it. After his death, he left us with one of
his many successful companies which imported and distributed printing paper.
Every weekend, I would sit in one quiet corner of the
factory and observe the workers as they went about their daily routine of
stacking and storing the paper after each new shipment and taking stacks of
paper to the van to deliver to the customers. Every afternoon, I noticed a
group of workers disappearing into the toilet and reappearing half an hour
later. Curious, I decided to sneak in after them one afternoon.
When I entered the toilet, the smell of cigarette smoke hit
me and gave them away. As I was about to leave, one of the workers grabbed my
shoulder and offered me something which seemed innocently harmless at that
time.
"Hey kid, we’ll supply you with cigarettes every
weekend provided you don’t tell your father about our ‘break’" Before I
could reply, a stick was pushed into my hand. Although my mind was screaming
no, curiosity got the better of me and before I knew it, it was in my lips.
Within a week, I had become addicted to smoking. I needed
two to five sticks a day to feel good; otherwise I would be very tired and
short tempered. I usually hid in my school’s toilet or under void decks in
order to smoke my daily ‘requirement’. It was not surprising my grades suffered
and many of y friends deserted me.
I usually stole from shops in order to sustain my smoking
habit. Then one day, a teacher walked in onto me while I was smoking in an
empty classroom after school. My parents were informed of this and that night I
received the worst scolding since I was in primary school. The following day in
school someone told me that it was the class chairman, Jimmy, who had reported
me to the teacher. Hence after school, I confronted him and demanded to know
the reason of his actions. Eventually, we got into a fight which lasted for
quite sometimes until I flung a nearby dustbin cover at Jimmy’s head. Upon
impact, he collapsed on the floor and blood began to flow freely from a deep
gash on his head. Not knowing what to do, I quickly ran to my grandfather’s
company and sat in the usual corner, confused on what I should do next.
At that moment, the same group of workers spotted me and
asked me what was wrong. I ignored their question and asked for a cigarette.
Minutes later, al of us were sitting against the wall, smoking into the
silence. Soon, my father came, fuming as he saw his workers and his son smoking
our lives away. With a tight slap, he knocked my cigarette out of my mouth and
onto a stack of paper. He then proceeded to give me my second worst lecture. However,
before he could complete it, a sudden wave of heat and light made all of us
look to where my cigarette had landed.
Instead of a stack of paper, all we saw was burning columns
of it. Apparently, the fire had spread so quickly that half of the factory was
already engulfed. Panic ensued as the workers clumsily attempted to extinguish
the fire with low pressured fire extinguishers which should have been changed a
long time ago. The attempts were futile as the fire quickly engulfed the whole
factory. All I remember was attempting to find the exit before something fell
on me and knocked me out.
When I awoke, excruciating pain blinded me. After a while,
the pain subsided and I was able to look around me. After a while, I concluded
that I was in a hospital ward. I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling until a
nurse walked by and noticed that I was awake. My family members were contacted
and soon, I was surrounded by smiling faced that showed how relief they were.
Confused I asked them why they were not angry with me for starting the fire. I
later found out that the fire occurred ten months ago and after being knocked
unconscious by a support beam, I had been slipped into a coma.
However, my grandfather’s hard work had all gone down in
flames. On top of that, Jimmy had slipped into a coma, like me, from his head
injuries. That night, I cried silently into my pillow. A moment of curiosity
had ruined my entire life.
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The time when you shouldn’t give up is when you feel like giving up
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As requested, below is someone’s composition. Are you not entertained? ..
I tossed and turned on my bed, attempting to make myself sleep. However, no matter what i did, i could not do so. Glanced at the illuminated green digits on the digital clock - it was ten past two in the morning. I closed my eyes to entice myself to sleep. However, the consistant thought of my uncompleted homework kept me awake.
Four weeks ago was the start of the June school vacation. On the first week, i told myself that i would start my homework early on the second week. So for the whole of the first week, i concentrated on my CCA and enjoyed myself. In a blink of an eye, the first week flew past like this. Though i was shocked at the rate that time passed, there was nothing that i could do to slow it down.
On the second week of the holidays, i believed that i had not enjoyed enough and pushed back the starting of my homework to the thrid week of the holidays. For the second week of the school vacation, i spent most of my time watching television, sleeping late and playing computer games. I had also went out with my friends to catch a couple of movies. Hence another week of enjoyment finished off anoter week of the school vacation.
In an attempt to redeem myself, i faithfully started on my homework on the third week of the vacation. However, because i started on it, i told myself that i should play even harder to "balanace" my lifestyle. So i did an hour of homework for each day and played the rest of the day away. It ws not surprising that the standard of my work was slipshod as my mind kept on wandering. Sometimes i would sit with my homework on my lap and daydream about the computer games that i would be playing or had played yesterday. Thus the quantity and quality was sub-standard.
Panic only set in somewhere in the middle of the last week of vacation. I had realised that i had only done a fifth of my total homework. Though i reduced the amount of time i spent on enjoyment and trippled the time i spent on my homework, i found that i could not do my homework as i had not paid attention in class when the concept was being taught. Out of desperation, i turned to my friends for help. However, i realised that they were reluctant to help as they were either enjoying their last week of holiday without any worries or they were also struggling to complete their overdue homework like me.
Then the weekend came and i suddenly remembered that i still had three tests to study for before the end of the vacation. Abandoning my homework, i attempted to study two year’s worth of work for three subjects in two days. However, my panic only allowed me to remember fragments of information from my textbook and notes. I resigned myself to copy homework from my friends and prayed for some miracle that would let me pass my tests.
I opened my eyes and looked at the time. Ten minutes to six. I heaved myself out of bed and prepared for the first day of school. I realised that i should have completed all my homework before i played away my holidays. Now i can only regret my actions.
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the deed itself can be an acorn, but once men hear of it the tale soon becomes a mighty oak
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With little sleep, eyes stinging from the smoky air and only the most basic hand tools to work with, we were filthy and weary. Looking at the huge pile of rubble that was once the grandest hotel in the town, my heart sank. I wondered how many people were still trapped inside underneath the debris. The volunteers were giving out bottles of chilled water to the rescuers at the scene. I sat on a chair and observered the extent of the bomb.
One hour ago, the building was brought down by a bomb that ripped throught it. Unfortunately, the hotel was fully booked at that point of time due to it being the holiday season. Many people were killed instantly by the blast and even more by the debris. However, its a mircale for some people who managed to get out unscratched. I put my bottle down and stood up, my sudden actions made my already aching joints scream in pain. However, i steeled myself to continue helping to rescue anyone who was still trapped inside.
Using the miserable tools given to me, I joined my fellow rescuers who were trying to break apart a bigger piece of concrete into smaller pieces so that they could be removed with ease. The hammer that i was using was near its breaking point. Every impact between the hammer head and concrete jarred my hand, but every piece removed increased the chnaces of people being trapped inside to be found. As the hours flew by, more bodies were revealed. The numbers of survivors decreased and the moral of the rescuers dropped drastically. By nightfall, half of the building was removed while the other half stood silently against the darkness of the night.
As i continued hacking at the building, I heard somebody shout a warning, followed by another. A low rumble and falling debris told me that the building, or whatever was left of it, was collsaping due to a missing support that must have been taken away during the rescue work. Everybody turned and ran, though exhausted and caked in dust, we ran like sprinters in an Olympic event. Suddenly a hard force hit me in the back and sent me flying towards the ground.
When I awoke, it was total darkness and it was overwhelming. The silence was deafeaning. I looked around for a way out, gingerly pushing against the darkenss, but all around me was a solid black and uneven wall. I finally gave up and sank back against the cold floor, waiting for someone above to rescue me. Hoping that the darkness will be banished by light, and sounds of my rescuers will reach my ears.
I must have drifted off to sleep for when i awoke, i was lying on a hospital bed. I carefully lifted my head and looked around me, trying very hard not to break the silence that seemed to echo throughout the entire ward. In the surrounding beds were the rescuers turned victims who were trapped under the falling debris. When the nurse noticed that i was awake, she called the doctor over and they begin performing some routine checks on me. After a while they declared that I was out of danger and shifted me into another ward for further observation. Three days later I was discharged and before i headed home, I purposely took a bus that will pass by the disaster site. The surroundings looked somewhat different from what I remembered. A new shopping mall, new bus services, more restaruants along the side of the road. What i saw truely shocked me. In the place of the collasped building stood another hotel that was much taller and grander than the previous one. I suddenly realised that the people in that ward when I awoke were all in comma and they were just waiting for a day that they will awake.
One day, perhaps, they will wake and be shocked by the sights outside the hospital and at the original ground zero which they were so frantically working at that fateful day.
comments: my first compo in the year 2003. The original one i scored a D.. this one is the edited and improved version.
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Does the walker choose the path or does the path choose the walker?
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The following story is a fictionous story and any links to any person and/or life story of anyone is purely coincidential.
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Loki lay with his back on the hot tar road. One hand shading his eyes from the glaring afternoon sun while the other pressed on his twelve-inches long stab wound, infliced by a sharp blade, that stretched from his right hip across his abdomen and ending just below his left ribcage. His breathing was shallow and ragged and his condition worsened with every breadth he took. A throbbing pain at the back of his head made his body jerk involuntarily. Loki squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think of something to take his mind off the pain. His thought eventually wandered to the time when he joined the gang and called people he rarely knew as his brothers whom he swore to protect with his life.
Loki’s primary school was infamous for its reputation that half the students in that school belonged to gangs that often sought trouble with each other over trivial problems such as staring and bullying incidents. Loki had joined the school at the start of the second semester in primary four when his whole family migrated due to his father’s latest promotion that required him to be stationed overseas for seven years straight. Everyday in school, he would often find himself bullied or extorted by a group of boys and occassionally some girls. It was only two months after he started school did Raven approach him and told him that the bullies would trouble him no more if he joined their gang. Thinking that he could leave the gang at the end of primary school, Loki agreed. True to his word, everytime Loki got cornered, Raven would mysteriously appear nearby. Upon seeing Raven, the bullies would always turn and run in fear.
Loki knew little of Raven except that he was in primary six and he was respected and feared by members of the other gangs. Hence for the rest of the year, Loki could concentrate on his studies and walked around the school unmolested.
When Raven graduated, he told Loki that he would still be under his protection and should anyone bully him, he could meet up with Raven after school and tell him about it. On top of that, Raven told Loki that because he was in primary five, he was required to pay a ’subscription fee’ to him for his protection. Loki obeyed and followed Raven’s instructions blindly. Extorting money from younger pupils and recuiting and protecting members. Loki did everything Raven told him to including near impossible task like stealing ten handphones in half a month. Thus Loki was ‘promoted’ to Raven’s right hand man when he graduated from primary school.
Upon his ‘promotion’ to Raven’s right hand man, Raven had given Loki an eight inch knife that was sometimes required for certain task. Loki had forgotten about his decision to quit Raven’s gang after primary school as he enjoyed the power and respect he was receiving. Not surprisingly, Loki enrolled in the same secondary school as Raven, continuing to carry out Raven’s orders.
Hence after school rights, extortion and robbing of other students from other secondary schools became part of Loki’s life. Then came the day when Raven and Loki confronted a member from another gang for stealing one of Raven’s gang member’s girlfriend. After a heated argument which contained a lot of shouting and shoving, a scuffle broke out. Because Raven’s opponent was a lot more tougher and leaner than Raven, it was evident that Raven would eventually lose if the fight continued. So Loki whipped out his knife and plunged it into the shoulder of Raven’s opponent. The effect was instaneous - the victim froze in midpunch and after a moment, collasped onto the floor clenching his shoulder and screaming out in a voice several octaves higher than his normal. Raven straightened out his shirt, walked calmly over and pulled the knife out, wiped it on the victim’s shirt and handed it back to Loki. However, Loki stood stunend at his actions. He had not hesistated to attack, if not kill, another person to protect Raven. Raven took Loki’s hand and pushed the knife into it and patted his shoulder when Loki did not react.
"I want to quit the gang." Loki croaked when they left the injured guy where he had fallen. Something he should have said ages ago.
"I understand. But before you do that, let us execute my grand plan which took me years to finalise." Raven said with an excited voice. "Then you can quit for all I care."
After that day, Raven met with four others of his most trusted gang members, Loki included. They met under void decks after school to finalise the roles and any other forgotten detail. Raven’s grand plan was to rob a few money changes that were located a few streets away from each other. The trick was to do it at staged intervals and that the getaway car should arrive just in time when the person finishes the robbery. Thus on that Sunday that they had earlier decided on to execute the plan, they met in a pre-arragned meeting place near one of the money changes. They would each rob a moneychanger with Loki to drive the getaway car. After robbing, they would throw the loot into the car and go into hiding and meet up later to distribute the loot.
Loki parked the car just outside the first money changer who was to be robbed later. Five minutes before they executed the plan, Loki began to get nervous and wanted to back out. However, he rememberd Raven’s promise to let him leave after he finished his role.
While Loki was lost in thought on whether to carry out the plan or back out now, a sudden thud in the backseat made him look behind. A sling bag sat quietly in the centre bulging with what could only be foreign currency. At that sight, his doubts left him as he realised that the others depended greatly on him. Thus he started the car and drove along the designated route, picking up two more bags of money. The last money changer was robbed by Raven himself. But instead of dumping the money and taking off, Raven pulled opened the passenger door and got in, shouting at Loki to start driving. Loki stared at him for a full moment, Raven was not supposed to get into the car at all. He should be running away from the car into hiding. So why?
A loud bang caused the side mirror to shatter into a million fragments. Another bang destroyed whatever was left of it. Damn it! The moneychanger’s guards were shooting at them. Without needing another warning, Loki floored the gas pedal and the car jumped forward, burning rubber in its wake. While Loki steered the car into the expressway, Raven checked the bags to see whether they contained the correct contents.
After comfirming that all the loot was in the car, Raven turned to face Loki and told him to stop the car. Obeying immediately, Loki stopped the car and Raven ordered him to get out. The moment Loki left the driver’s seat, Raven slid into it, slammed the door shut. Loki, realising what was happening, pulled it back open before Raven had time to lock it and stared at him in disbelief.
"You said you were going to share the loot with all of us!" Loki exclaimed.
"I said you could leave the gang after today’s job. Today’s job is already over. I do not remember mentioning that I was sharing the loot with non-members." Raven retorted coldly. "Besides, they other guys may have been already caught. I see no reason to keep their share of the loot while they are already apprehended."
"You traitor! How could you when we trusted you completely?" Loki reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out his knife, only to find that his pocket was empty.
"Sometimes greed makes us act in our own selfish ways" Raven said with a cruel smile and with one quick movement, slid Loki’s own knife that he had stolen from him while he was driving across Loki’s abdomen. Loki fell backwards, not because of the pain, but because of Raven’s own selfish actions.
Loki opened his eyes as a cool liquid between his head and the road lessened the throbbing pain. He used his free hand to touch the liquid and lifted it infront of his face. The sticky red liquid confirmed the worst of his fears. Lifting his head slightly, he looked at his abdomen. His hand, that was pressing on the wound to staunch the bleeding, was dyed crimson red, together with his shirt and jeans. He lowered his head and stared at the dazzling sky again. How long more was he going to last before death came upon him? His eyelids began to droop just as he thought he heard the shrill siren of an ambulance.
Just before he blacked out, he prayed that the paramedics would reach him in time to give him a chance to repent.
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Success is getting wad you want, happiness is wanting wad you get
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A loud tearing sound awoke Tom from his deep slumber. He opened his eyes and stared at the darkness before him. It took him a full minute to finally remember where he was and what he was doing there. Two days ago, Tom was invited by Ray to go on a three day cruise to America, with all expenses paid for by Ray. Needless to say, Tom immediately agreed. Just when Tom, lying comfortably on his soft feather bed, began recalling all the wonderful winnings at the ship’s casino and the beautiful sights at the swimming pool, he heard frantic shouting and hurried footsteps on the otherside of the door to his room. Just as Tom heaved himself out of his bed, the door slammed open, throwling the bolt across the room.
Framed in the doorway, with ragged breathing, was Ray. Behind him, between the door frame and Ray, Tom could see people hurrying back and forth, in the general direction of the staircase leading up to the deck. In two strides, Ray grabbed hold of Tom’s hand and dragged him out of the room. Tom, while attempting to break free of Ray’s iron-grip, demanded to know what was going on. Before he knew it, he was already on the deck, which was brimming with people. On the deck, Tom heard snatches of conversation which eventually pieced together the whole story - an explosion in the engine room had caused a large fissure in the hull of the boat, allowing water to enter it at an alarming rate.
Lifeboats were frantically lowered while people climbed aboard despite the danger of falling off or even being squashed by one. The large crowd made it difficult for Tom and Ray to get close to a lifeboat, let alone board one. And when they did get near to one, it was either full or they were pushed back by others who were desperate not to lose their lives to the vast freezing ocean. Just when they were pushed back for the third time, another explosion rocked the boat, causing it to cant towards the starboard side which resulted in many passengers falling off the deck and into the dark sea that swallowed them greedily.
One moment Tom was on the deck attempting to get near a lifeboat, and suddenly he was frantically gasping for breath. He swam frantically to the surface and inhaled greedily. Besides the icy water numbing his limbs, debris from the sinking wreckage rained down upon him. A hand suddenly grabbed his and pulled him away - just in the nick of time before a deck chair splashed into the spot water where Tom was treading a moment ago. He turned around to see his saviour when he came face to face with Ray, whose pale face was lit orange by the fire engulfing part of the boat. However, falling debris was not the end of their troubles. As the suveryed their surroundings, they realised that they were at least 50 feet from the nearest lifeboat. Thus despite their muscles screaming in protest from the icy water and the physical exertion fueled by pure adrenaline, they paddled frantically towards the nearest lifeboat. Each angonising stroke brought them closer to the lifeboat but drained them of whatever strength they had left.
After that seemed like eternity, they finally reached the small but servicable lifeboat. To their dismay, the lifeboat was full save for one remaining space whose occupant had died of excessive blood loss and was floating amid the burning wreckage. Tom and Ray tried to argue with the lifeboat incharge hoping that he would take both in, eventually he lost his temper.
"Look, there is only one place left. By letting both of you on, this boat will become more unstable and may even capsize. So its either one of you get on or both of you stay off." Tom and Ray looked at each other, comtemplating on who should sacrifice himself. Finally, Ray shoved Tom towards the lifeboat and without a backward glance, swam furiously towards the nearly submerged cruise ship.
Tom looked uncertainly as the distance between the two boats lenghtened. The longing to swap places with Ray was overwhelming, yet to be alive and safe made Tom feel relieved. A sudden bout of dizziness forced Tom to lean over the edge of the boat and vomit. He closed his eyes as the boat cut silently through the water. After a while, he opened his eyes and realised that his cheeks were wet, not from the splash from the oars but from his eyes. He stared at the dark water that reflected the dark starry night and cried out his anguish.
The greatest love is shown when friends lay down their lives for each other with no regrets.
comment by me: a bit poorly written.. Rather simple storyline… one of my rather ‘off’ pieces
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knowledge will not be attained in the first one houndred hours, nor will it be attained in the first 1000 hours, but let us begin.
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Before we continue, it would do you good if u took a look at this site. Don’t worry, nothing inappropriate. The site:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog
Since i had nothing to blog for the past few days, and i shall not force myself to blog, i asked a friend (jing) to give me an idea on what to blog. She gave me this question. Why to teenagers like to blog?
That is a very good question that i often pondered when i found cursor hovering above the button that says "Update Blog". A double edged sword. The inital thoughts going through my mind when the cursor moves in that general direction is what should i blog, and since i have nothing, and when my mind dedices that i shall save my braincells and not blog for the day, the tagging thought would be, then why on earth would i have a blog and occupy a small, insignificant space on the friendster server? Good question.
Taking a quick view on my friends blogs, i noticed that they vary with content. Some just state what they did and fullstop. Others are more personal, having their thoughs and reflections of their daily lives and/or personal comments regarding issues, be it international or interplanetary. And there are those who i know (you know who u are, no names here), that blog things that they deem fit, such as lyrics of a song, some random complaints and maybe stating a sudden feeling of despair of having accidentally stepped on grass on their way home. Last but not least, the inactive bloggers - those who blog only if time allows and/or it is within their abilities.
Why do we want to tell the whole world about our lives? About the things we do, the people we meet, those who leave an impression and those who don’t. I know of some who even post what they eat for their meals each day. Views read the blogs and are, well, updated on your life - Glad to know that the blogger ate chicken rice with 2 servings of chilli and extra cucumber, met an old flame who now works at some departmental store, played with the antique Playstation that has been left in the drawer and lastly, ate some fast food before sleep stole him/her away.
Do we really enjoy doing it? i mean, talking about our own lives. telling people what we did. Who we met, what happened around us? Our friends know. Oh yea, the people i work with know. The people who i intereacted know. The people who see my face know. Should i be thrilled with so many people read my blog? like long lost classmates? friends whom i just made? For me, the answer would be a definate no. Perhaps its me, but i actually do not care about my viewers. Neither do i care about the so-called complains they like to make behind my back, or literally, in front of their computer screens. To tell the truth, how many people read my blog? we are caught up with the hustle and bustle of everyday life that we seldom have time to read blogs, and even if we do read them, may i ask what is accomplished? The fact that a friend who lives few streets away is alive and kicking? What objective is fulfilled when we read entries?
Hey, but don’t get me wrong now, there are people who blog interesting stuff. People who blog and
others who WANT to see what they blog. And i am not against that at all.
Do we blog because everyone is blogging and it would do ourselves a kind favour by just blogging something about our lives. Does the chicken rice seller read my blog and realised that his chilli tasted bad? Would the guy sitting opposite me in the bus 3 days ago read my blog and find out that he forgot to zip his pants? And even if he does, it doesn’t change the fact. He can’t rewind, zip his pants and pretend nothing ever happened.
After a bit of talk, you guys might ask me the questions that i question. Why do i blog? If u noticed, my life is rarely mentioned on this simple page. So what is my purpose of blogging? i blog because there are somethings that i might lose in hardcopy. Even soft copy, so its best that i can upload it and perserve it. Also, those who want to see and comment can do so. Such as the compo "A paw" and "Forever".
But there are blogs out there that i want to read, and which i read. You should know who la. So ultimately, its an double edged sword. But i would like who ever who has read all the way down here to take a moment to think. Why do you blog? because everyone is doing so and since u have nothing better to do, why not? Privacy is almost nothing on the internet.
Spywares, keyloggers, viruses, trojan horses, or maybe a more generalised term, malware, is pretty rampant. Passwords that we once thought were safe are no longer as secured as we thought it would be. Fraudant bank websites, scams of quick money schemes and the like. A useful tool has been turned against us by some who take pride and joy in causing major inconviences and/or performing identity-theif. In fact, sometimes the internet is so full(I cannot find another word that can replace corrupt, but that seems too extreme) that a simple word on a search engines spawns pornographic websites, websites that showcase free mp3 downloading, cracks and/or keygens for trialware programmes and donation sites. To quote an example, i was recently doing a search on the internet on a work-related topic. First few search results were somewhat along the same line, but the 3rd or 4th page already advertised proudly a number of websites whose range of pornography it offered seemed to go on forever. But then, before we blame the creators of such website, of the server who unknowningly host it, lets fall back to the basics shall we? Without demand there will never be supply. With high demand comes an inflated supply.
I think i shall end here before my dear viewers (if i have any) eye’s water from reading small black text against a white background with a mono music playing the background. Before i go, just think of this before the next time you blog okay?
Why do you blog? Is it because it is important to you? Or is it because that is what everyone is doing and it doesn’t hurt to blog?
What is your objective of blogging?
What is the contents of your blog? careful of what u blog, for you may never know because words on a screen sometimes carry two or more emotions which may affect the reader negatively.
Lastly, if i have offended bloggers who feel that i have insulted them in anyway or whatsoever, please close your eyes, count to ten and click on the ‘x’ button located on the top right of your browser. Just pretend that i am typing this nonsense to relief stress.. That would be all. If you read until here, well done. Look at something far away to rest your eyes.
and if this post really offends any viewers, i offer my apologies. Just close this window and forget that i ever posted this. or pm me n list your reasons, i may eliminate the part or take this post down altogether.
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Learn to love what you’ve been taught to fear
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